It is that season of time again, where I come face to face between passion versus reality.
After having switch back and forth from working for a company and working on my own, never have I expected the cycle is coming back to the starting point again... or the end point of a circle if you may.
4 months ago, I decided to take a step forward to bring a drastic change for my future by deciding to migrate to Australia. Unfortunately things didn't turn out as I expected and I'm stuck here with nothing but lost of hope. A couple of weeks after that, I decide to pick myself up and start my own business offering fashion and graphic design services, things that I've been always doing and good at.
Freelancing is not as easy as it seems. One can never be "free" by being a freelancer. Instead, its worse than being a paid staff. You work 7 days a week, at least 16 hours daily. You don't get to complain about too much overtime and definitely don't get to complain about too much work. Because the least you need is enough work to sustain your income-less lifestyle; or rather an unstable income.
Now, I cannot but accept the fact that my expanses are way over my income, and being so on-fire for my craft project selling online isn't rewarding at all. Mom said, "you've tried for 4 months, don't you think its long enough to make you wake up to reality?". Yes.. its tough and I really don't want it to be real.
There is a job opening for retail fashion manager for a french luxury brand. I've been called up for an interview today. But I turned it down, giving some cheap ass reason. One of the reason is because, I'm through with working for a company. I'm through with the corporate mentality in this country that isn't beneficial to any employee. Then again, why did I apply for the job in the first place is because I want to give myself another chance to be lucky enough to meet a good company that rewards their staff. I haven't tried enough companies to meet one that is actually worth slaving for.
However, the inside of me is telling me that I've tried so many times, corporate isn't my type. Its just not the way I live. If you may, I'd like to say its not in my belief! Yes, I'd love to get a fat cheque each month, and spend it on the things I can never have being a freelancer. For the least, I hope to be able to spend on better grooming, an athlete watch, upgrading my road bike.. yada yada yada. I'd like to have wine sessions each weekend, and look good if not branded.
I asked myself, if everyone out there is being employed, why should I be different? Because I'm jack of all trades? Because I think i'm smarter than other people? No, I'm not smarter or more intelligent than others, but I definitely have more trades than my peers. Which I always think is a waste to be put into a position doing just one thing. I want to be flexible! I want to be enjoying all the trades I'm gifted with.
I hate it that time and time again, I tell money that I don't need him. But every single time, I come back to square one "money, i'm home~~" as oppose to "honey".
If you are reading this, and you are an entrepreneur, please teach me how.
xxJoey
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